Happy Families Make Happy Soldiers

Weve all been there, standing in a group of civilians talking about their families, they ask what you do and you smile, Were military. You see the look, you know what Im talking about, yes, that look. They respond, Oh I just dont think I could do it. This always cracks me up one side and down the other. What do they think? You are a glutton for punishment? They act like its a physical choice of yours to be a part of this lifestyle. Any true military wife knows, its not that you like to move around fifteen billion times in your life, that you enjoy having the movers trash your new armoire, or even that you enjoy living most of your life as a geographical bachelorette, better known as a single, married person. Or maybe you enjoy the single parenting life of a married person? You dont choose it, sometimes it chose you, and sometimes it just is. Its what you do. So here are some tips to help you do it with grace, do it with style, and hey in the end you might end up actually liking it after all (well except for that being alone and armoire trashing action).

Seek out friends & support
Join OSC/ESC
Volunteer
Attend neighborhood functions
Participate in your Units FRG
Attend Unit events
Network

Remember, some of your best friends and contacts you will make in the most unlikely places. Never stop growing, and never stop seeking new contacts.

Look, everyone has issues, and if they say they dont, then that is an issue in and of itself. Do not be afraid to seek help and talk to someone about your life. Even the happiest person or couple has things that they need to talk about once and awhile.

Be positive
No negative attitudes allowed
Make yourself the glass half full kind of gal

Remaining positive about your lifestyle choice is almost always a sanity-saving endeavor. At least it has been for me. Sure there are times when life throws you curveballs (more so than normal in a military career because SURPRISE youre not in control).

Just because you are a military spouse doesnt mean you cant have your own life and career outside of being married to the military. Sure, it is more common that military spouses remain at home given their familys career choice, however that doesnt mean that you have to. Choose work or a volunteer position outside of the home if that is what makes you feel complete. You might even consider entrepreneurship, and build a mobile career.

Communicate & Share
Talk to your spouse
Share everything (that includes your feelings, but also, the wash, paying the bills, and feeding the dog)
Become experts at parenting together, even if youre apart
Develop a loving relationship full of touch and expression

I know, I had to get mushy on you, didnt I? Its so true though. This is the key to a successful marriage in the military. There will be times when you will be on your own without your spouse. That doesnt mean that you will be doing it all alone, unless you make it that way. Make a conscience effort, in presence or not, to communicate openly with your spouse about everything. Parent together, do finances together, be a team.

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Tara Crooks, or Household 6″ in the Crooks family, is best known for her ability to motivate and empower others. Taras journey with the military began in 1998 when she and her husband PCSd to their first duty station, Ft Hood. She currently owns and operates two highly successful websites, http://www.ArmyWifeTalkRadio.com and http://www.AdvertisingMoms.com. Featured in Military Spouse Magazine, Stars & Stripes Newspaper, Military.com, Army.com and more, Army Wife Talk Radio is the original internet talk radio program for military wives. The tagline, Our Life, Our Family, Our Soldier, says it all. Tara does a weekly internet talk radio broadcast from the website that features up to date information, tips, and empowerment for spouses. Advertising Moms is a network of work from home business owners that Tara mentors and coaches on a daily basis.

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